Orakel Classics
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court by Mark Twain, prepared as a public-domain Orakel edition with 45 chapter-aware companion links.
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PREFACE
PREFACE from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. The ungentle laws and customs touched upon in this tale are historical, and the episodes which are used to illustrate them are also historical. It is not pretended that these laws and customs existed in England in the sixth century; no, it is only pretended that inasmuch as they existed in the English and other civilizations of far later times, it is safe to consider that it is no libel upon the sixth century to
Open2CHAPTER I.: CAMELOT
CHAPTER I.: CAMELOT from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. “Camelot--Camelot,” said I to myself. “I don't seem to remember hearing of it before. Name of the asylum,
Open3CHAPTER II: KING ARTHUR'S COURT
CHAPTER II: KING ARTHUR'S COURT from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. The moment I got a chance I slipped aside privately and touched an ancient common looking man on the shoulder and said, in an insinuating, confidential
Open4CHAPTER III: KNIGHTS OF THE TABLE ROUND
CHAPTER III: KNIGHTS OF THE TABLE ROUND from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Mainly the Round Table talk was monologues--narrative accounts of the adventures in which these prisoners were captured and their friends and backers killed and stripped of their steeds and armor. As a general thing--as far as I could make out--these murderous adventures were not forays undertaken to avenge injuries, nor to settle old disputes or sudden fallings out; no, as a rule they were simply duels between
Open5CHAPTER IV: SIR DINADAN THE HUMORIST
CHAPTER IV: SIR DINADAN THE HUMORIST from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. It seemed to me that this quaint lie was most simply and beautifully told; but then I had heard it only once, and that makes a difference; it was pleasant to the others when it was fresh, no
Open6CHAPTER V: AN INSPIRATION
CHAPTER V: AN INSPIRATION from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. When I next came to myself, I seemed to have been asleep a very long time. My first thought was, “Well, what an astonishing dream I've had! I reckon I've waked only just in time to keep from being hanged or drowned or burned or something.... I'll nap again till the whistle blows, and then I'll go down to the arms factory and have it out with
Open7CHAPTER VI: THE ECLIPSE
CHAPTER VI: THE ECLIPSE from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. In the stillness and the darkness, realization soon began to supplement knowledge. The mere knowledge of a fact is pale; but when you come to realize your fact, it takes on color. It is all the difference between hearing of a man being stabbed to the heart, and seeing it done. In the stillness and the darkness, the knowledge that I was in deadly danger took to itself deeper and deeper meaning all the time; a
Open8CHAPTER VII: MERLIN'S TOWER
CHAPTER VII: MERLIN'S TOWER from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Inasmuch as I was now the second personage in the Kingdom, as far as political power and authority were concerned, much was made of me. My raiment was of silks and velvets and cloth of gold, and by consequence was very showy, also uncomfortable. But habit would soon reconcile me to my clothes; I was aware of that. I was given the choicest suite of apartments in the castle, after the king's. They were aglow with
Open9CHAPTER VIII: THE BOSS
CHAPTER VIII: THE BOSS from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. To be vested with enormous authority is a fine thing; but to have the on-looking world consent to it is a finer. The tower episode solidified my power, and made it impregnable. If any were perchance disposed to be jealous and critical before that, they experienced a change of heart, now. There was not any one in the kingdom who would have considered it good judgment to meddle with my
Open10CHAPTER IX: THE TOURNAMENT
CHAPTER IX: THE TOURNAMENT from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. They were always having grand tournaments there at Camelot; and very stirring and picturesque and ridiculous human bull-fights they were, too, but just a little wearisome to the practical mind. However, I was generally on hand--for two reasons: a man must not hold himself aloof from the things which his friends and his community have at heart if he would be liked--especially as a statesman; and both as business man
Open11CHAPTER X: BEGINNINGS OF CIVILIZATION
CHAPTER X: BEGINNINGS OF CIVILIZATION from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. The Round Table soon heard of the challenge, and of course it was a good deal discussed, for such things interested the boys. The king thought I ought now to set forth in quest of adventures, so that I might gain renown and be the more worthy to meet Sir Sagramor when the several years should have rolled away. I excused myself for the present; I said it would take me three or four years yet to get things well fixed
Open12CHAPTER XI: THE YANKEE IN SEARCH OF ADVENTURES
CHAPTER XI: THE YANKEE IN SEARCH OF ADVENTURES from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. There never was such a country for wandering liars; and they were of both sexes. Hardly a month went by without one of these tramps arriving; and generally loaded with a tale about some princess or other wanting help to get her out of some far-away castle where she was held in captivity by a lawless scoundrel, usually a giant. Now you would think that the first thing the king would do after listening to such a
Open13CHAPTER XII: SLOW TORTURE
CHAPTER XII: SLOW TORTURE from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Straight off, we were in the country. It was most lovely and pleasant in those sylvan solitudes in the early cool morning in the first freshness of autumn. From hilltops we saw fair green valleys lying spread out below, with streams winding through them, and island groves of trees here and there, and huge lonely oaks scattered about and casting black blots of shade; and beyond the valleys we saw the ranges of hills,
Open14CHAPTER XIII: FREEMEN
CHAPTER XIII: FREEMEN from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Yes, it is strange how little a while at a time a person can be contented. Only a little while back, when I was riding and suffering, what a heaven this peace, this rest, this sweet serenity in this secluded shady nook by this purling stream would have seemed, where I could keep perfectly comfortable all the time by pouring a dipper of water into my armor now and then; yet already I was getting dissatisfied; partly
Open15CHAPTER XIV: “DEFEND THEE, LORD”
CHAPTER XIV: “DEFEND THEE, LORD” from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I paid three pennies for my breakfast, and a most extravagant price it was, too, seeing that one could have breakfasted a dozen persons for that money; but I was feeling good by this time, and I had always been a kind of spendthrift anyway; and then these people had wanted to give me the food for nothing, scant as their provision was, and so it was a grateful pleasure to emphasize my appreciation and sincere
Open16CHAPTER XV: SANDY'S TALE
CHAPTER XV: SANDY'S TALE from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. “And so I'm proprietor of some knights,” said I, as we rode off. “Who would ever have supposed that I should live to list up assets of that sort. I shan't know what to do with them; unless I raffle them off. How many of them are there,
Open17CHAPTER XVI: MORGAN LE FAY
CHAPTER XVI: MORGAN LE FAY from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. If knights errant were to be believed, not all castles were desirable places to seek hospitality in. As a matter of fact, knights errant were not persons to be believed--that is, measured by modern standards of veracity; yet, measured by the standards of their own time, and scaled accordingly, you got the truth. It was very simple: you discounted a statement ninety-seven per cent; the rest was fact. Now after making
Open18CHAPTER XVII: A ROYAL BANQUET
CHAPTER XVII: A ROYAL BANQUET from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Madame, seeing me pacific and unresentful, no doubt judged that I was deceived by her excuse; for her fright dissolved away, and she was soon so importunate to have me give an exhibition and kill somebody, that the thing grew to be embarrassing. However, to my relief she was presently interrupted by the call to prayers. I will say this much for the nobility: that, tyrannical, murderous, rapacious, and morally rotten
Open19CHAPTER XVIII: IN THE QUEEN'S DUNGEONS
CHAPTER XVIII: IN THE QUEEN'S DUNGEONS from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Well, I arranged all that; and I had the man sent to his home. I had a great desire to rack the executioner; not because he was a good, painstaking and paingiving official,--for surely it was not to his discredit that he performed his functions well--but to pay him back for wantonly cuffing and otherwise distressing that young woman. The priests told me about this, and were generously hot to have him punished.
Open20CHAPTER XIX: KNIGHT-ERRANTRY AS A TRADE
CHAPTER XIX: KNIGHT-ERRANTRY AS A TRADE from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Sandy and I were on the road again, next morning, bright and early. It was so good to open up one's lungs and take in whole luscious barrels-ful of the blessed God's untainted, dew-fashioned, woodland-scented air once more, after suffocating body and mind for two days and nights in the moral and physical stenches of that intolerable old buzzard-roost! I mean, for me: of course the place was all right and agreeable
Open21CHAPTER XX: THE OGRE'S CASTLE
CHAPTER XX: THE OGRE'S CASTLE from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Between six and nine we made ten miles, which was plenty for a horse carrying triple--man, woman, and armor; then we stopped for a long nooning under some trees by a limpid
Open22CHAPTER XXI: THE PILGRIMS
CHAPTER XXI: THE PILGRIMS from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. When I did get to bed at last I was unspeakably tired; the stretching out, and the relaxing of the long-tense muscles, how luxurious, how delicious! but that was as far as I could get--sleep was out of the question for the present. The ripping and tearing and squealing of the nobility up and down the halls and corridors was pandemonium come again, and kept me broad awake. Being awake, my thoughts were busy, of
Open23CHAPTER XXII: THE HOLY FOUNTAIN
CHAPTER XXII: THE HOLY FOUNTAIN from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. The pilgrims were human beings. Otherwise they would have acted differently. They had come a long and difficult journey, and now when the journey was nearly finished, and they learned that the main thing they had come for had ceased to exist, they didn't do as horses or cats or angle-worms would probably have done--turn back and get at something profitable--no, anxious as they had before been to see the miraculous
Open24CHAPTER XXIII: RESTORATION OF THE FOUNTAIN
CHAPTER XXIII: RESTORATION OF THE FOUNTAIN from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Saturday noon I went to the well and looked on a while. Merlin was still burning smoke-powders, and pawing the air, and muttering gibberish as hard as ever, but looking pretty down-hearted, for of course he had not started even a perspiration in that well yet. Finally I
Open25CHAPTER XXIV: A RIVAL MAGICIAN
CHAPTER XXIV: A RIVAL MAGICIAN from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. My influence in the Valley of Holiness was something prodigious now. It seemed worth while to try to turn it to some valuable account. The thought came to me the next morning, and was suggested by my seeing one of my knights who was in the soap line come riding in. According to history, the monks of this place two centuries before had been worldly minded enough to want to wash. It might be that there was a leaven of
Open26CHAPTER XXV: A COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION
CHAPTER XXV: A COMPETITIVE EXAMINATION from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. When the king traveled for change of air, or made a progress, or visited a distant noble whom he wished to bankrupt with the cost of his keep, part of the administration moved with him. It was a fashion of the time. The Commission charged with the examination of candidates for posts in the army came with the king to the Valley, whereas they could have transacted their business just as well at home. And although this
Open27CHAPTER XXVI: THE FIRST NEWSPAPER
CHAPTER XXVI: THE FIRST NEWSPAPER from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. When I told the king I was going out disguised as a petty freeman to scour the country and familiarize myself with the humbler life of the people, he was all afire with the novelty of the thing in a minute, and was bound to take a chance in the adventure himself--nothing should stop him--he would drop everything and go along--it was the prettiest idea he had run across for many a day. He wanted to glide out the back
Open28CHAPTER XXVII: THE YANKEE AND THE KING TRAVEL INCOGNITO
CHAPTER XXVII: THE YANKEE AND THE KING TRAVEL INCOGNITO from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. About bedtime I took the king to my private quarters to cut his hair and help him get the hang of the lowly raiment he was to wear. The high classes wore their hair banged across the forehead but hanging to the shoulders the rest of the way around, whereas the lowest ranks of commoners were banged fore and aft both; the slaves were bangless, and allowed their hair free growth. So I inverted a bowl over his head and
Open29CHAPTER XXVIII: DRILLING THE KING
CHAPTER XXVIII: DRILLING THE KING from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. On the morning of the fourth day, when it was just sunrise, and we had been tramping an hour in the chill dawn, I came to a resolution: the king must be drilled; things could not go on so, he must be taken in hand and deliberately and conscientiously drilled, or we couldn't ever venture to enter a dwelling; the very cats would know this masquerader for a humbug and no peasant. So I called a halt and
Open30CHAPTER XXIX: THE SMALLPOX HUT
CHAPTER XXIX: THE SMALLPOX HUT from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. When we arrived at that hut at mid-afternoon, we saw no signs of life about it. The field near by had been denuded of its crop some time before, and had a skinned look, so exhaustively had it been harvested and gleaned. Fences, sheds, everything had a ruined look, and were eloquent of poverty. No animal was around anywhere, no living thing in sight. The stillness was awful, it was like the stillness of death. The
Open31CHAPTER XXX: THE TRAGEDY OF THE MANOR-HOUSE
CHAPTER XXX: THE TRAGEDY OF THE MANOR-HOUSE from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. At midnight all was over, and we sat in the presence of four corpses. We covered them with such rags as we could find, and started away, fastening the door behind us. Their home must be these people's grave, for they could not have Christian burial, or be admitted to consecrated ground. They were as dogs, wild beasts, lepers, and no soul that valued its hope of eternal life would throw it away by meddling in any
Open32CHAPTER XXXI: MARCO
CHAPTER XXXI: MARCO from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. We strolled along in a sufficiently indolent fashion now, and talked. We must dispose of about the amount of time it ought to take to go to the little hamlet of Abblasoure and put justice on the track of those murderers and get back home again. And meantime I had an auxiliary interest which had never paled yet, never lost its novelty for me since I had been in Arthur's kingdom: the behavior--born of nice and exact
Open33CHAPTER XXXII: DOWLEY'S HUMILIATION
CHAPTER XXXII: DOWLEY'S HUMILIATION from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Well, when that cargo arrived toward sunset, Saturday afternoon, I had my hands full to keep the Marcos from fainting. They were sure Jones and I were ruined past help, and they blamed themselves as accessories to this bankruptcy. You see, in addition to the dinner-materials, which called for a sufficiently round sum, I had bought a lot of extras for the future comfort of the family: for instance, a big lot of
Open34CHAPTER XXXIII: SIXTH CENTURY POLITICAL ECONOMY
CHAPTER XXXIII: SIXTH CENTURY POLITICAL ECONOMY from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. However, I made a dead set at him, and before the first third of the dinner was reached, I had him happy again. It was easy to do--in a country of ranks and castes. You see, in a country where they have ranks and castes, a man isn't ever a man, he is only part of a man, he can't ever get his full growth. You prove your superiority over him in station, or rank, or fortune, and that's the end of it--he knuckles down.
Open35CHAPTER XXXIV: THE YANKEE AND THE KING SOLD AS SLAVES
CHAPTER XXXIV: THE YANKEE AND THE KING SOLD AS SLAVES from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Well, what had I better do? Nothing in a hurry, sure. I must get up a diversion; anything to employ me while I could think, and while these poor fellows could have a chance to come to life again. There sat Marco, petrified in the act of trying to get the hang of his miller-gun--turned to stone, just in the attitude he was in when my pile-driver fell, the toy still gripped in his unconscious fingers. So I took it
Open36CHAPTER XXXV: A PITIFUL INCIDENT
CHAPTER XXXV: A PITIFUL INCIDENT from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. It's a world of surprises. The king brooded; this was natural. What would he brood about, should you say? Why, about the prodigious nature of his fall, of course--from the loftiest place in the world to the lowest; from the most illustrious station in the world to the obscurest; from the grandest vocation among men to the basest. No, I take my oath that the thing that graveled him most, to start with, was not this,
Open37CHAPTER XXXVI: AN ENCOUNTER IN THE DARK
CHAPTER XXXVI: AN ENCOUNTER IN THE DARK from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. London--to a slave--was a sufficiently interesting place. It was merely a great big village; and mainly mud and thatch. The streets were muddy, crooked, unpaved. The populace was an ever flocking and drifting swarm of rags, and splendors, of nodding plumes and shining armor. The king had a palace there; he saw the outside of it. It made him sigh; yes, and swear a little, in a poor juvenile sixth century way. We saw
Open38CHAPTER XXXVII: AN AWFUL PREDICAMENT
CHAPTER XXXVII: AN AWFUL PREDICAMENT from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Sleep? It was impossible. It would naturally have been impossible in that noisome cavern of a jail, with its mangy crowd of drunken, quarrelsome, and song-singing rapscallions. But the thing that made sleep all the more a thing not to be dreamed of, was my racking impatience to get out of this place and find out the whole size of what might have happened yonder in the slave-quarters in consequence of that
Open39CHAPTER XXXVIII: SIR LAUNCELOT AND KNIGHTS TO THE RESCUE
CHAPTER XXXVIII: SIR LAUNCELOT AND KNIGHTS TO THE RESCUE from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Nearing four in the afternoon. The scene was just outside the walls of London. A cool, comfortable, superb day, with a brilliant sun; the kind of day to make one want to live, not die. The multitude was prodigious and far-reaching; and yet we fifteen poor devils hadn't a friend in it. There was something painful in that thought, look at it how you might. There we sat, on our tall scaffold, the butt of the hate and
Open40CHAPTER XXXIX: THE YANKEE'S FIGHT WITH THE KNIGHTS
CHAPTER XXXIX: THE YANKEE'S FIGHT WITH THE KNIGHTS from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Home again, at Camelot. A morning or two later I found the paper, damp from the press, by my plate at the breakfast table. I turned to the advertising columns, knowing I should find something of personal interest to me there. It was
Open41CHAPTER XL: THREE YEARS LATER
CHAPTER XL: THREE YEARS LATER from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. When I broke the back of knight-errantry that time, I no longer felt obliged to work in secret. So, the very next day I exposed my hidden schools, my mines, and my vast system of clandestine factories and workshops to an astonished world. That is to say, I exposed the nineteenth century to the inspection of the
Open42CHAPTER XLI: THE INTERDICT
CHAPTER XLI: THE INTERDICT from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. However, my attention was suddenly snatched from such matters; our child began to lose ground again, and we had to go to sitting up with her, her case became so serious. We couldn't bear to allow anybody to help in this service, so we two stood watch-and-watch, day in and day out. Ah, Sandy, what a right heart she had, how simple, and genuine, and good she was! She was a flawless wife and mother; and yet I had
Open43CHAPTER XLII: WAR!
CHAPTER XLII: WAR! from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I found Clarence alone in his quarters, drowned in melancholy; and in place of the electric light, he had reinstituted the ancient rag-lamp, and sat there in a grisly twilight with all curtains drawn tight. He sprang up and rushed for me eagerly,
Open44CHAPTER XLIII: THE BATTLE OF THE SAND BELT
CHAPTER XLIII: THE BATTLE OF THE SAND BELT from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. In Merlin's Cave--Clarence and I and fifty-two fresh, bright, well-educated, clean-minded young British boys. At dawn I sent an order to the factories and to all our great works to stop operations and remove all life to a safe distance, as everything was going to be blown up by secret mines, “and no telling at what moment--therefore, vacate at once.” These people knew me, and had confidence in my word. They would
Open45CHAPTER XLIV: A POSTSCRIPT BY CLARENCE
CHAPTER XLIV: A POSTSCRIPT BY CLARENCE from A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. I, Clarence, must write it for him. He proposed that we two go out and see if any help could be accorded the wounded. I was strenuous against the project. I said that if there were many, we could do but little for them; and it would not be wise for us to trust ourselves among them, anyway. But he could seldom be turned from a purpose once formed; so we shut off the electric current from the fences, took an escort
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